When I excitedly tore open the FedEx box yesterday afternoon to welcome my wallet back into my open arms, I did a quick inventory to see if anything was missing.
ID: Check
Credit Cards: Check
Muffin Punch Card: Check
Miscellaneous Receipts: Check
$65 Cash: Missing!
However, instead of the missing cash, I found two curious documents in the wallet, clearly put in there by kind individuals at Southwest. The first (and I am NOT making this up) was a page torn from the Jeff Foxworthy "You Might Be a Redneck" page-a-day calendar. On the February 2 sheet ("You might be a redneck if...you and your wife wear matching outfits to church") was written the following message "$38 cash off flt 1446." It was then signed by (and I am continuing to NOT make this up) "Sonya T-Rex, Witness."
This befuddled me, seeing as I had $65 in the wallet, and I'm nearly positive there were no singles whatsoever in it. So someone helped him or herself to $27 of my cash, and put back the change. Since I wasn't expecting to get any cash back, this did not really bother me. But then, there is the strange testimony of the improbably named Sonya T-Rex. How did Ms. T-Rex know that I had $38 in my wallet? Would a Jeff Foxworthy calendar document be admissable evidence in a court of law?
In any case, apparently Ms. T-Rex's word scrawled on a novelty calendar was good enough for Southwest. Because the second document in my wallet was a check written out to me for $38 from Southwest. The authorized signature is difficult to make out, but I don't believe it was also signed by a dinosaur. Although that might explain the illegible handwriting.
All in all, I get the impression that my wallet had a more eventful vacation than I did.
