Admittedly, I'm no 'shrink', but we have been in this situation more times than we really would like to. Actually, who really LIKES to face being unemployed or in a financially strapped condition anyway? No one I know of really likes to be facing these challenges, but there is a WAY of facing them and some tactics that I have learned that are helpful states of mind and things to do to make yourself 'feel okay' during an otherwise stressful time.
These are certainly not selfish acts like going off and hiding while letting the rest of your family face the difficulties, although at times it feels like that might be a good way 'out' of some tough spots. These are ideas to help cope or even rise above the current circumstances and lift your family while you lift yourself.
To do list:
DO keep with as regular a routine as possible. Even if your day is spent selling off items or job hunting, rise at the same time, shower each day and dress for’ work’. Also get to sleep at the same time each evening. A routine will help your body combat stress. The temptation is to stay up late and try to figure out what to do or sleep in late because of no need to be somewhere early. Fight that mindset and keep a routine.
DO keep things (desk, house, office) clean and organized in the process. Anyone who has had a garage sale knows the mess created before and after one. If you are facing downsizing, organize how you are going to sell off items and move them from your home.
DO keep your car clean. As odd as that sounds, a clean car (inside and out)will help you feel more ‘together’ when situations seem tumultuous.
To think list:
THINK of this as a time to start fresh! A way of de-cluttering and prioritizing. A way to focus on what really matters.
THINK of this as a time for you and your family to pull together and go on a new adventure! Maybe it means moving (not always a bad thing) or the chance for the kids to grow and step up to more adult responsibilities (when presented right this too is a good thing).
THINK of how every cloud really DOES have a silver lining and that this change is exactly what you will need for the future!
THINK of how much freedom you are gaining by easing the load of clutter or debt! It’s like having room to breathe!
The DON’T DO list:
DON’T give in to feeling like this is the worst thing that can happen to you (or your whole family) right now! Trust me, if you give your brain the chance to think, there ARE worse things. This is just temporary.
DON’T spend time on the blame game or listing the ‘if-only-we-had’ litany of what went wrong. This is just a major zapper of energy that is better spent on creating more liquid finances and income ideas.
DON’T give up! Really. It may feel like you want to. Allow yourself some breaks of flopping on the couch once a week for a few moments, but don’t give up and give in and stay there, indefinitely.
Please take this advice from me. I know it works.
We are, at this juncture, once again indefinitely without our main source of income. The company that my husband worked for is liquidating. This is our fourth time of being ‘unemployed’ in seven years not due to individual job performance but due to company shutdowns.
Yet, in our late forties, when others have nest-eggs or retirement to lean on, we get to start FRESH! Our three grown children were/are in the years of just launching out on their own lives and here mom and dad are, practically doing the same thing! It’s almost like being newlyweds again!
Financial situations like this don’t have to tear any of us apart inside or apart from each other. There is a way to feel okay, strengthen your resolve and your faith and help your family grow closer through this adventure that some people call the stress of downsizing and unemployment.
It is all a journey and this is but a chapter.
Best Blessings to you and yours during this opportunity to grow!
Donna Miller is an author, teacher and entrepreneur. Her favorite roles are that of wife and mother to three home-school graduates. Living with a Homesteading Mindset in the country, the city and suburbs has been an adventure! The Millers own and operate Millers Grain House which offers Organic and Chemical-free Whole Grains, Bosch Mixers, the NutriMill, instructional tutorials, recipes and more. Listen to her Radio Show – Live or Archived at: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/millersgrainhouse